be thankful for your past, because it has made your present.
had a talk with a friend today and our conversation suddenly brought me back to tenth grade memories. i won't expand on the topic much because i really don't want to get into it and it really wasn't that interesting, but to sum it up i fell and couldn't get up for a long time.
what really matters is this; i let one thing, and one person, control my happiness. I let my misery overcome me, until i was a self-loathing, self-pitying person. I was fine on the outside, but i was dying on the inside. at the time, it seemed like the end of the world...
funny thing is i can now look back at this and l o l. of course a part of me wants to travel back in time to 15-year-old me and scream my lungs out at her.
i would tell her to man up and deal with it. i'd tell her that she's beautiful, cause that's all she needed to hear. i'd tell her guys come and go, and she shouldn't let one's stupid choices influence her mood and happiness.
but until a mystical time travel machine is invented, i cannot do that.
and even if one is magically created in this lifetime, i don't think that i'd go back.
cause after my misery and pain and woe-is-me attitude FINALLY passed, i learned. and and i grew. i'll never make the same kind of mistakes and misjudgments again, all cause of the more than slightly-clueless 15 year old verson of myself.
it made me who i am. it made me realize what i want. it made me work, harder then i ever have before. and now its like, dang. lol. realize how perfect everything actually is and tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.
Wednesday, September 29
hellloo
days are good. sunshine, 22 degrees, cool, crisp fall air. hopes for the future and present ideals. it can't get much better than this.
Thursday, September 23
as we go on we remember
i cried today. not because of sadness..... but nostalgia.
my friend from LFA put up her grad proofs today - you know the drill --- cap, gown, the works. and let me tell you.................... seeing a friend i graduated preschool with in her cap and gown absolutely kills me.
it makes me so excited for the future..... but it also makes me scared.
flash back to the days at preschool. me and sylvia, best friends. we must have gone over to each other's houses every day...... we lived just a few blocks away. she was one of those best friends that i could just have fun with, laugh with, be silly with, and even though i only get to see her a few times a year nowadays, we catch up like no time has gone by.
back in preschool, i couldn't even comprehend what life would be like beyond the sandboxes and tricycles. walking over the literal balance beam from 'preschool' to 'kindergarten' seemed like the biggest deal in the world. i worried about who i would play with the next day, and who my favourite sailor moon character was.
it's hard to believe that at this time next year, i'll be studying to be somebody in the world. i'll have real life loans, real life bills, and facing the real world.
and to be honest, i cant wait for those days. but there's always a small part of me that wishes i was still at the horizon peering into the unknown of grade school.....
my friend from LFA put up her grad proofs today - you know the drill --- cap, gown, the works. and let me tell you.................... seeing a friend i graduated preschool with in her cap and gown absolutely kills me.
it makes me so excited for the future..... but it also makes me scared.
flash back to the days at preschool. me and sylvia, best friends. we must have gone over to each other's houses every day...... we lived just a few blocks away. she was one of those best friends that i could just have fun with, laugh with, be silly with, and even though i only get to see her a few times a year nowadays, we catch up like no time has gone by.
back in preschool, i couldn't even comprehend what life would be like beyond the sandboxes and tricycles. walking over the literal balance beam from 'preschool' to 'kindergarten' seemed like the biggest deal in the world. i worried about who i would play with the next day, and who my favourite sailor moon character was.
it's hard to believe that at this time next year, i'll be studying to be somebody in the world. i'll have real life loans, real life bills, and facing the real world.
and to be honest, i cant wait for those days. but there's always a small part of me that wishes i was still at the horizon peering into the unknown of grade school.....
Sunday, September 12
a complaint free world
so i was at inservice today (seasonal thing where we have to go to work for 4-6 hours but instead of work do team building activities, go over procedures etc.... and get paid for it. i love my job) and we had a presentation on this concept called "A Complaint Free World".
basically this guy wanted the world to be a happier place, so his goal is to reach out to 60 million people (1% of the world's population) and help them try and go 21 days without complaining.
why 21 days? cus thats how long it takes to break a habit.
so what happens is that you get a bracelet. i got mine today. every time you catch yourself complaining (out loud), you switch the bracelet to another hand. that makes you more aware of your words. The idea is that eventually, since you stop verbally complaining, you stop mentally complaining, and your life will become happier, more loving and more enjoyable.
i guess if you stop complaining, you focus on the things you DO have rather than the things you don't and if you accept what you have, you don't really need anything else.
basically this guy wanted the world to be a happier place, so his goal is to reach out to 60 million people (1% of the world's population) and help them try and go 21 days without complaining.
why 21 days? cus thats how long it takes to break a habit.
so what happens is that you get a bracelet. i got mine today. every time you catch yourself complaining (out loud), you switch the bracelet to another hand. that makes you more aware of your words. The idea is that eventually, since you stop verbally complaining, you stop mentally complaining, and your life will become happier, more loving and more enjoyable.
i guess if you stop complaining, you focus on the things you DO have rather than the things you don't and if you accept what you have, you don't really need anything else.
Wednesday, September 1
reminder of the day #3
never take anything for granted.
On my trip to Florida, we ate out almost every night (and consequently I never want to eat restaurant food for a very very long time). One night, we decided to visit this restaurant called Perkins (AMAZING pie and good food).
On our last night, we decided to go back to Perkins. We were seated, and my brother's friend asked if we could have the same server. She was really good - nice, professional, and gave excellent service. Besides that, she had an amazing memory. We had eaten there a few nights earlier and she remembered what my brother's friend had to drink and what my little brother ordered!!!!
After dinner, we were talking with her about how we were travelling. She then started talking to us about her life.
She just had a baby 9 months ago, and it was a miracle baby. It was her 14th pregnancy, and she already took care of her 11 year old nephew full-time (she took custody of him for whatever reason when he was 4). Here she was, working late nights- often til 1 am, baby at home and only got 6 months off with her.
What i learned most from this server was how happy, despite many obstacles in her life, that baby made her. She told us about how all her friends would be bringing around baby pictures and that finally at 35 she was also able to do so. She was showing us proudly and we saw pictures of her nephew and daughter on her cell phone. Here she could be complaning about everything going wrong in her life, but instead she beams about the things that have gone right.
After our conversation, she gave us the bill and told her the pie was on her. We left a big tip as we left. However, we're still in debt, cause the insight she gave me is worth more than anything you can buy.
On my trip to Florida, we ate out almost every night (and consequently I never want to eat restaurant food for a very very long time). One night, we decided to visit this restaurant called Perkins (AMAZING pie and good food).
On our last night, we decided to go back to Perkins. We were seated, and my brother's friend asked if we could have the same server. She was really good - nice, professional, and gave excellent service. Besides that, she had an amazing memory. We had eaten there a few nights earlier and she remembered what my brother's friend had to drink and what my little brother ordered!!!!
After dinner, we were talking with her about how we were travelling. She then started talking to us about her life.
She just had a baby 9 months ago, and it was a miracle baby. It was her 14th pregnancy, and she already took care of her 11 year old nephew full-time (she took custody of him for whatever reason when he was 4). Here she was, working late nights- often til 1 am, baby at home and only got 6 months off with her.
What i learned most from this server was how happy, despite many obstacles in her life, that baby made her. She told us about how all her friends would be bringing around baby pictures and that finally at 35 she was also able to do so. She was showing us proudly and we saw pictures of her nephew and daughter on her cell phone. Here she could be complaning about everything going wrong in her life, but instead she beams about the things that have gone right.
After our conversation, she gave us the bill and told her the pie was on her. We left a big tip as we left. However, we're still in debt, cause the insight she gave me is worth more than anything you can buy.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
