"if you're still thinking about something, you're not over it."

"i'm so over it"
"it's done"
"we're done"
"hey remember when this happened with so and so? that was so funny! too bad i hate him now!"

Had an argument with my dad a few months back about something stupid.... i think it was because i painted my nails without protecting the couch or something.
In the fight i happened to bring up something that was said between me and my lil bro that hurt me. I was expecting some sympathy on my dad's part, and maybe a quick forgive and forget, but instead I faced an even deeper wrath when he told me that I should only be worrying about the here and now, and stop thinking about the past.

The argument that day made me realize one major thing..... I know I (and many other girls) are very good at harboring our thoughts. We differentiate ourselves from the male race in many ways, but I think one of the most distinctive but definitely one that flys under the radar is our ability to harbor words spoken and actions performed for days,months....even years, in some severe cases. While guys get mad then get over it......... girls get irritated, slightly pissed a few hours later, then "over it". Notice the quotations.
Like clothes on the floor of my room, the actions and words in our heads pile up. They pile up and pile up, until eventually I can no longer see my bedroom floor and my mom blows her top.
My happiness/peacefulness with others works the same way. Bff disses my jacket in November, and clothes pile on the floor. However, a few months later, she decides to ditch me for her boyfriend of a year and a half and the amount of clothes on the floor is equivalent to the amount in a full laundry basket. The jacket is still there, under the pile, and only adds to the misery.
It's a vicious cycle, and I've really been working on trying to break it. But anyways, now to the main reason for this post.

On that green nail polish argument day, my dad said some very insightful words. "Get over things that happened in the past. They're over, they happened, and you can't do anything about it. If you're still thinking about it or talking about it, you're not over it."
Time and time again I hear people say they're over stuff. But back to my metaphor.......... saying you'll clean your room isn't the same as actually cleaning it. Sure, you can try and paint it a lighter color to make the room look bigger, and therefore your mess of clothes smaller, but at the end of the day a fresh coat of paint isn't going to pick up all that crap on the floor.

So on the eve of May 1, I think my goal this month is to clean my metaphorical room.
Still thinking about that girl that talked smack about u in grade 10? Get over it. She has.
Still pissed about the boy who u gave your heart to and he totally did not take good care of months ago? Well... you know what they say. If the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it.

We don't wear clothes that make us feel bad about ourselves or don't flatter us. So why should we occupy our minds with people and events that make us feel bad about ourselves and doesn't flatter us? Like a good pair of jeans, which makes you look and feel amazing, the people in life I want to surround myself with are the people that compliment me and don't make me feel like a work in progress...... but a prize.

gaga for gaga

I'm well aware I'm "out of the loop" as you say.......... but I finally decided to watch Lady Gaga's Telephone video yesterday. And words CANNOT DESCRIBE the WOW i had inside my head. She did it with Paparazzi (Telephone is actually a continuation of that video) and she's done it again with Telephone. Beyonce's fierceness only adds to the mix. And my mind is blown.

Ps. I REALLY don't like the new youtube :(

i would walk 500 miles and i would walk 500 more

If I was on a desert island and I had to choose a body part to eat, i'd eat my legs last. Want to know why? Legs are underrated. Sure, they're a nuisance some of the time, with fitting into Levi's, and trying to look good in skirt, or trying to fit into an unconviniently person-without-legs sized hole. But if you think about it, legs are what keep us living.

Since the dawn of time, it's always been about survival of the fittest. It basically came down to who could run. The people that survived, aka our ancestors, were the ones who could run the fastest to catch and eat the bunny rabbits or whatever it was they ate back in the day, run away from the rabid rhinocerouses, and look cooler than all the other species who were still stuck crawling on all fours.

Time travel back to the time of now, and think about all our legs do for us. If we didn't have them, trying to stay fit would definitely be a problem. How the heck would we be able to run for the bus, go hiking, run a marathon, shop at the supermarket, or step on the gas pedal of a car that has capabilities to go from 0 to 60 in 3 points flat?!

So today I'm taking a moment to thank my legs for all they do for me. Sure, other people may say the gift of sight, sound, or taste is more important than 2 of our limbs..... but I say this: it's kind of hard to enjoy good music, good conversation or good food if our body parts are too busy getting digested by a rabid rhinocerous.

"showing you all the cards"

I'm not even into this R&B stuff but John Legend stands out for me. No matter my mood or my situation, he always has a song with lyrics to go with it. And the voice of God HAHAHA


on another musical note, KATE NASH'S NEW CD CAME OUT YESTERDAY!!!! I've yet to purchase it, but the song's I've been able to hear have been amazingggg

refreshed

In the slightly rearranged words of Anna Rivera:
The fact that a group of people can join together, all totally unique and different, and exist so peacefully and happily, beyond our many differences, is truly remarkable.

I can say with all honesty and sincerity that applying to be a Peer Counsellor last year was the best decision of my life.
Looking back to last year (just look at my blog posts on my old blog), I was very unhappy. I felt like I didn't have anything to turn to or anything to make me feel accepted. Of course, my best friends were always there for me, but they had different things going on in their lives as well. I prayed for a miracle.... and I didn't realize it at the time but I got one.

That weekend last year changed my life. It changed my way of thinking, my actions, they way I see things, and the way I can make myself avalible to help other people.
The fact that I was a witness to the changes that took place over the new PCs (and now my new friends) fills me with satisfaction. They might not be big changes, and they might not be that obvious, but if you really look, they're there. This isn't just a retreat high. It's permanent.

I'm so sad that half of my foundation is going to be leaving us in June. As much as I'm looking forward to finally being the grade 12s at school, the fact that I know such a wonderful grade (and I don't even mean just the PCs) won't be there next year makes me not want to move on.

I could say so many more words, but I'll leave it with simplicity: thank you.

the first day of the rest of my life

i've had my last blog URL since summer of grade eight....... before then i had my xanga (LOL TO THAT). Anyways, looking at all my LG posts..... i thought it was time for a change and to change my blog to something of substance.... leaving all my history behind. ill still leave my old blog up but im sure not gonna write in it any more (for now).

so like all stories, this blog has a beginning, a middle, and an end. however, this blog's beginning starts at another end.

"its the first day of the rest of your life"