be thankful for your past, because it has made your present.
had a talk with a friend today and our conversation suddenly brought me back to tenth grade memories. i won't expand on the topic much because i really don't want to get into it and it really wasn't that interesting, but to sum it up i fell and couldn't get up for a long time.
what really matters is this; i let one thing, and one person, control my happiness. I let my misery overcome me, until i was a self-loathing, self-pitying person. I was fine on the outside, but i was dying on the inside. at the time, it seemed like the end of the world...
funny thing is i can now look back at this and l o l. of course a part of me wants to travel back in time to 15-year-old me and scream my lungs out at her.
i would tell her to man up and deal with it. i'd tell her that she's beautiful, cause that's all she needed to hear. i'd tell her guys come and go, and she shouldn't let one's stupid choices influence her mood and happiness.
but until a mystical time travel machine is invented, i cannot do that.
and even if one is magically created in this lifetime, i don't think that i'd go back.
cause after my misery and pain and woe-is-me attitude FINALLY passed, i learned. and and i grew. i'll never make the same kind of mistakes and misjudgments again, all cause of the more than slightly-clueless 15 year old verson of myself.
it made me who i am. it made me realize what i want. it made me work, harder then i ever have before. and now its like, dang. lol. realize how perfect everything actually is and tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.
Wednesday, September 29
hellloo
days are good. sunshine, 22 degrees, cool, crisp fall air. hopes for the future and present ideals. it can't get much better than this.
Thursday, September 23
as we go on we remember
i cried today. not because of sadness..... but nostalgia.
my friend from LFA put up her grad proofs today - you know the drill --- cap, gown, the works. and let me tell you.................... seeing a friend i graduated preschool with in her cap and gown absolutely kills me.
it makes me so excited for the future..... but it also makes me scared.
flash back to the days at preschool. me and sylvia, best friends. we must have gone over to each other's houses every day...... we lived just a few blocks away. she was one of those best friends that i could just have fun with, laugh with, be silly with, and even though i only get to see her a few times a year nowadays, we catch up like no time has gone by.
back in preschool, i couldn't even comprehend what life would be like beyond the sandboxes and tricycles. walking over the literal balance beam from 'preschool' to 'kindergarten' seemed like the biggest deal in the world. i worried about who i would play with the next day, and who my favourite sailor moon character was.
it's hard to believe that at this time next year, i'll be studying to be somebody in the world. i'll have real life loans, real life bills, and facing the real world.
and to be honest, i cant wait for those days. but there's always a small part of me that wishes i was still at the horizon peering into the unknown of grade school.....
my friend from LFA put up her grad proofs today - you know the drill --- cap, gown, the works. and let me tell you.................... seeing a friend i graduated preschool with in her cap and gown absolutely kills me.
it makes me so excited for the future..... but it also makes me scared.
flash back to the days at preschool. me and sylvia, best friends. we must have gone over to each other's houses every day...... we lived just a few blocks away. she was one of those best friends that i could just have fun with, laugh with, be silly with, and even though i only get to see her a few times a year nowadays, we catch up like no time has gone by.
back in preschool, i couldn't even comprehend what life would be like beyond the sandboxes and tricycles. walking over the literal balance beam from 'preschool' to 'kindergarten' seemed like the biggest deal in the world. i worried about who i would play with the next day, and who my favourite sailor moon character was.
it's hard to believe that at this time next year, i'll be studying to be somebody in the world. i'll have real life loans, real life bills, and facing the real world.
and to be honest, i cant wait for those days. but there's always a small part of me that wishes i was still at the horizon peering into the unknown of grade school.....
Sunday, September 12
a complaint free world
so i was at inservice today (seasonal thing where we have to go to work for 4-6 hours but instead of work do team building activities, go over procedures etc.... and get paid for it. i love my job) and we had a presentation on this concept called "A Complaint Free World".
basically this guy wanted the world to be a happier place, so his goal is to reach out to 60 million people (1% of the world's population) and help them try and go 21 days without complaining.
why 21 days? cus thats how long it takes to break a habit.
so what happens is that you get a bracelet. i got mine today. every time you catch yourself complaining (out loud), you switch the bracelet to another hand. that makes you more aware of your words. The idea is that eventually, since you stop verbally complaining, you stop mentally complaining, and your life will become happier, more loving and more enjoyable.
i guess if you stop complaining, you focus on the things you DO have rather than the things you don't and if you accept what you have, you don't really need anything else.
basically this guy wanted the world to be a happier place, so his goal is to reach out to 60 million people (1% of the world's population) and help them try and go 21 days without complaining.
why 21 days? cus thats how long it takes to break a habit.
so what happens is that you get a bracelet. i got mine today. every time you catch yourself complaining (out loud), you switch the bracelet to another hand. that makes you more aware of your words. The idea is that eventually, since you stop verbally complaining, you stop mentally complaining, and your life will become happier, more loving and more enjoyable.
i guess if you stop complaining, you focus on the things you DO have rather than the things you don't and if you accept what you have, you don't really need anything else.
Wednesday, September 1
reminder of the day #3
never take anything for granted.
On my trip to Florida, we ate out almost every night (and consequently I never want to eat restaurant food for a very very long time). One night, we decided to visit this restaurant called Perkins (AMAZING pie and good food).
On our last night, we decided to go back to Perkins. We were seated, and my brother's friend asked if we could have the same server. She was really good - nice, professional, and gave excellent service. Besides that, she had an amazing memory. We had eaten there a few nights earlier and she remembered what my brother's friend had to drink and what my little brother ordered!!!!
After dinner, we were talking with her about how we were travelling. She then started talking to us about her life.
She just had a baby 9 months ago, and it was a miracle baby. It was her 14th pregnancy, and she already took care of her 11 year old nephew full-time (she took custody of him for whatever reason when he was 4). Here she was, working late nights- often til 1 am, baby at home and only got 6 months off with her.
What i learned most from this server was how happy, despite many obstacles in her life, that baby made her. She told us about how all her friends would be bringing around baby pictures and that finally at 35 she was also able to do so. She was showing us proudly and we saw pictures of her nephew and daughter on her cell phone. Here she could be complaning about everything going wrong in her life, but instead she beams about the things that have gone right.
After our conversation, she gave us the bill and told her the pie was on her. We left a big tip as we left. However, we're still in debt, cause the insight she gave me is worth more than anything you can buy.
On my trip to Florida, we ate out almost every night (and consequently I never want to eat restaurant food for a very very long time). One night, we decided to visit this restaurant called Perkins (AMAZING pie and good food).
On our last night, we decided to go back to Perkins. We were seated, and my brother's friend asked if we could have the same server. She was really good - nice, professional, and gave excellent service. Besides that, she had an amazing memory. We had eaten there a few nights earlier and she remembered what my brother's friend had to drink and what my little brother ordered!!!!
After dinner, we were talking with her about how we were travelling. She then started talking to us about her life.
She just had a baby 9 months ago, and it was a miracle baby. It was her 14th pregnancy, and she already took care of her 11 year old nephew full-time (she took custody of him for whatever reason when he was 4). Here she was, working late nights- often til 1 am, baby at home and only got 6 months off with her.
What i learned most from this server was how happy, despite many obstacles in her life, that baby made her. She told us about how all her friends would be bringing around baby pictures and that finally at 35 she was also able to do so. She was showing us proudly and we saw pictures of her nephew and daughter on her cell phone. Here she could be complaning about everything going wrong in her life, but instead she beams about the things that have gone right.
After our conversation, she gave us the bill and told her the pie was on her. We left a big tip as we left. However, we're still in debt, cause the insight she gave me is worth more than anything you can buy.
Friday, August 27
LOL
Some lady starts waving frantically at my mom while were at a stoplight. Panicked, my mom rolls down the window and the lady went all through the kerfuffle to say "WE VE GOT THE SAME CAR"
Saturday, August 21
Haaay haaay from the sunshine state. I love it. Love its beaty, love the weather, love the people. I even love the rain. Florida's amazing because its not indecisive. Its hot alllll day. If the sun shines youre catchin rays every second. And if it rains, it pours. I'm dreading what i have to face back home.
Monday, August 16
reminder of the day #2
Things don't always turn out the way you want them to.
But that doesn't mean that they'll turn out worse than you wanted.
have patience, keep calm, and live freely. listen, and learn. seek harmony in everything, one day at a time.
But that doesn't mean that they'll turn out worse than you wanted.
have patience, keep calm, and live freely. listen, and learn. seek harmony in everything, one day at a time.
reminder of the day #1
grabbed some timmy hos on saturday on the way up to whistler. so all was well and good, ordered a sesame bagel with strawberry cream cheese and in a generally good mood. i went off to the side to wait for my bagel out of courtesy for the people behind me wanting to order in line, and then this obnoxious business guy finishes his order and stands beside me. some food pops up ON THE COUNTER and the guy snatches it and heads out the door.
the cashier lady looks at me and goes "you didn't get yours yet?"
i say no
she says "i guess that guy mustve taken it.... i'll make you another one". what a sweet lady.
two minutes later the guy comes marching in. "YOU GUYS GAVE ME THE WRONG THING!" and snatches the next food item that comes up. luckily the lady spotted him and knew it was mine so she quickly told him.
they forgot the strawberry cream cheese and used plain instead, but the lady already took so much shit from the obnoxious guy that i spared her my moaning and groaning about what turned out to be a pretty decent bagel.
people in this society are too full of pride to take the blame anymore. i mean, how hard would it have been for the guy to return in, a little sheepish, and say, "sorry i was in such a hurry i must have taken the wrong thing by accident". it wouldn't have been a big deal, and everyone would have been understanding.
instead, he decided to turn it all around and blame the poor 8 dollar an hour worker for his impatience and stupidity.
with maturity comes great responsibility. honor it............ for the sake of this earth. please.
taking responsibility is kinda like getting a pimple. you can choose to blame it on your diet, your facewash, the fight you had with your boyfriend, let it ruin your day and limit your confidence, and then try to cover it up with a pound of makeup and end up making it look worse than it did in the first place.
or you can acknowledge it, give it a little tender loving care, invest in some good concealer (clinique wins here hands down. just sayin) and respect yourself and others in the process- its your choice.
anyways that was my reminder of the day - take responsibility. cus i know i'd respect someone more for owning up then covering up anyday.
the cashier lady looks at me and goes "you didn't get yours yet?"
i say no
she says "i guess that guy mustve taken it.... i'll make you another one". what a sweet lady.
two minutes later the guy comes marching in. "YOU GUYS GAVE ME THE WRONG THING!" and snatches the next food item that comes up. luckily the lady spotted him and knew it was mine so she quickly told him.
they forgot the strawberry cream cheese and used plain instead, but the lady already took so much shit from the obnoxious guy that i spared her my moaning and groaning about what turned out to be a pretty decent bagel.
people in this society are too full of pride to take the blame anymore. i mean, how hard would it have been for the guy to return in, a little sheepish, and say, "sorry i was in such a hurry i must have taken the wrong thing by accident". it wouldn't have been a big deal, and everyone would have been understanding.
instead, he decided to turn it all around and blame the poor 8 dollar an hour worker for his impatience and stupidity.
with maturity comes great responsibility. honor it............ for the sake of this earth. please.
taking responsibility is kinda like getting a pimple. you can choose to blame it on your diet, your facewash, the fight you had with your boyfriend, let it ruin your day and limit your confidence, and then try to cover it up with a pound of makeup and end up making it look worse than it did in the first place.
or you can acknowledge it, give it a little tender loving care, invest in some good concealer (clinique wins here hands down. just sayin) and respect yourself and others in the process- its your choice.
anyways that was my reminder of the day - take responsibility. cus i know i'd respect someone more for owning up then covering up anyday.
Saturday, August 14
alive
been thinking about it since march 2009.......... and finally got around to doing something i've been meaning to do since then................BUNGEE JUMPING!!!!!
my new mantra in life is that you regret more the things you didn't do than the things you did do. and today proved that. as i jumped off the platform i felt alive. and my summer was made right there.
its a feeling like none other. best $130 ever spent. and best of all, now i'm officially a lifetime member so i can now jump anytime i want for 80 bucks.
and if you'd ask me to describe it in 2 words, i'd only be able to say.........
HELL YEAH
my new mantra in life is that you regret more the things you didn't do than the things you did do. and today proved that. as i jumped off the platform i felt alive. and my summer was made right there.
its a feeling like none other. best $130 ever spent. and best of all, now i'm officially a lifetime member so i can now jump anytime i want for 80 bucks.
and if you'd ask me to describe it in 2 words, i'd only be able to say.........
HELL YEAH
Tuesday, August 10
Saturday, August 7
god bless the rain
we didn't recieve one drop of rain for the entire month of july, and on the day my cousin leaves, i think the rain is a welcomed change.
for me, rain has never been about doom and gloom. it has been about refreshment, starting anew, and life. if you know me, you know i love water - being in and around it is literally my life - so nothing puts me in a better mood than when its literally pouring from the sky.
i've watched rain wash away sidewalk chalk masterpieces, creating blank canvases for the world's artists. i've seen the liquid sunshine delay and cancell various sports games and events - but more than often enough the break was needed and welcomed. i've seen rain ruin hairstyles, proms, and weddings - giving everything a natural look.
nature was designed to welcome and thrive the rain. natives danced and sang about the rain, and it was thought of as a gift in countries where there was a drought most of the year.
i think we should welcome the rain in the same way. rain is real. rain is powerful. rain is strong. rain washes away the dust, dirt, and grime, so we can see the earth in all it's glory.
my parents were married on a rainy day. after 25+ happy years together, some would say they suffered for a day of rain for a lifetime of 'sunshine'. i disagree. i think they've lasted so long because their relationship is real. and beautiful. even in the rain.
for me, rain has never been about doom and gloom. it has been about refreshment, starting anew, and life. if you know me, you know i love water - being in and around it is literally my life - so nothing puts me in a better mood than when its literally pouring from the sky.
i've watched rain wash away sidewalk chalk masterpieces, creating blank canvases for the world's artists. i've seen the liquid sunshine delay and cancell various sports games and events - but more than often enough the break was needed and welcomed. i've seen rain ruin hairstyles, proms, and weddings - giving everything a natural look.
nature was designed to welcome and thrive the rain. natives danced and sang about the rain, and it was thought of as a gift in countries where there was a drought most of the year.
i think we should welcome the rain in the same way. rain is real. rain is powerful. rain is strong. rain washes away the dust, dirt, and grime, so we can see the earth in all it's glory.
my parents were married on a rainy day. after 25+ happy years together, some would say they suffered for a day of rain for a lifetime of 'sunshine'. i disagree. i think they've lasted so long because their relationship is real. and beautiful. even in the rain.
Wednesday, August 4
Westcoast represent
Over the last week or so i've been more productive than i have all summer. Not that lazing around is bad---- i reward myself for a successful year with a whole summer of lollygagging-- but i must say its a refreshing change of pace.
My favourite cousin is visiting right now so i'm using her as an excuse to indulge in all my vancouver faves. I toured my own city in chinatown,burnaby, grouse, and whistler. Made me realize 2 things:
1. Love my city too death.
2. I know it too well.
Im happy im soon getting a break from this place for a while. Though i will miss the qoola (if you havent tasted it yet run dont walk to metrotown this second and buy it. You wont regret it.
My favourite cousin is visiting right now so i'm using her as an excuse to indulge in all my vancouver faves. I toured my own city in chinatown,burnaby, grouse, and whistler. Made me realize 2 things:
1. Love my city too death.
2. I know it too well.
Im happy im soon getting a break from this place for a while. Though i will miss the qoola (if you havent tasted it yet run dont walk to metrotown this second and buy it. You wont regret it.
Friday, July 30
all you brothers n sisters & me
i'm not a very sentimental person. maybe i'm a cold, heartless bitch. maybe i just don't get attached to people cus too many have screwed me over. maybe i just don't have the attention span to stay tied to something or someone for too long. or maybe its cus i look for and find family in every aspect of my life, so i never really feel like i'm missing anything cus its all there.
i don't believe in having only one family. i mean, its true that i can only drive an unlimited number of people in my biological one, but that doesn't mean it's the only family i have.
everywhere i turn, i got family. cus when you think about it, it's really something you need - what am i supposed to do when my biological family isn't home?
i turn to my school family. or my swimming family. or my pc family. or my preschool buddies family (hard to believe we're entering our senior year/graduated already!!!) or my elementary school family. or my extended family. or my best friends'families (LOL). and the list goes on.
each family has its strengths, and weaknesses of course, but coming together they fit the mold perfectly. we look out for each other and know whats best for each other, and though we hate each other sometimes we know, deep down, we secretly still love them.
if i'm ever in a situation where i'm driving a limited number of passengers cus of my new liscense, and the p.o. busts me for breaking the '1 passenger + family' rule...... i think i'll know what i have to say......
"officer........ these people are my family. our birth certificates might not match, we might be the same race or it might be impossible for us to have been born in the same immediate family because of our age, but we ARE family. "
and hopefully the officer will understand. if he doesn't agree that the concept of family means more than those bound to us by blood or marriage, i feel sorry for him.
cus he's missing out.
i don't believe in having only one family. i mean, its true that i can only drive an unlimited number of people in my biological one, but that doesn't mean it's the only family i have.
everywhere i turn, i got family. cus when you think about it, it's really something you need - what am i supposed to do when my biological family isn't home?
i turn to my school family. or my swimming family. or my pc family. or my preschool buddies family (hard to believe we're entering our senior year/graduated already!!!) or my elementary school family. or my extended family. or my best friends'families (LOL). and the list goes on.
each family has its strengths, and weaknesses of course, but coming together they fit the mold perfectly. we look out for each other and know whats best for each other, and though we hate each other sometimes we know, deep down, we secretly still love them.
if i'm ever in a situation where i'm driving a limited number of passengers cus of my new liscense, and the p.o. busts me for breaking the '1 passenger + family' rule...... i think i'll know what i have to say......
"officer........ these people are my family. our birth certificates might not match, we might be the same race or it might be impossible for us to have been born in the same immediate family because of our age, but we ARE family. "
and hopefully the officer will understand. if he doesn't agree that the concept of family means more than those bound to us by blood or marriage, i feel sorry for him.
cus he's missing out.
Wednesday, July 28
Don't depend on others because they won't always be there for you as much as you wish for them to be.
Be independent and strong. Most importantly, be yourself.
Thursday, July 22
sweet escape
since i was young, i've always been fascinated with airports. when i was little it was all about going to grandma's/disneyland/vacation somewhere, which brought lots of excitement to my days. as i grew older, it became all about people watching and the fact the yvr/lax/yyz/lga/dtw/sea etc are pretty much gateways to the world.
it STILL captivates me every time i go to the airport. i admit i look at where all the planes are going as i'm trying to find my gate and i imagine where all the people could possibly be going. i'd walk by planes headed to montego bay and see school groups in matching T's from detroit heading on the vacation of a life time or on the plane going to hawaii wondering who was lucky enough to be heading home.
i personally can't wait to get out of the smalltown bubble i live in and explore the world. but for now......... people watching at the airport is gonna have to be a start.
it STILL captivates me every time i go to the airport. i admit i look at where all the planes are going as i'm trying to find my gate and i imagine where all the people could possibly be going. i'd walk by planes headed to montego bay and see school groups in matching T's from detroit heading on the vacation of a life time or on the plane going to hawaii wondering who was lucky enough to be heading home.
i personally can't wait to get out of the smalltown bubble i live in and explore the world. but for now......... people watching at the airport is gonna have to be a start.
Wednesday, July 21
good news, bad news
the good news:
new phone!!!!! welll iphone.... so new ipod and celluar phone and wireless device!!!!
and they took so long they gave us $100 to spend towards cases!! wooohooo
the bad news:
dropped my phone on concrete 3 hours before i buy my free case. made me yell a word that starts with a f and ends with uck (firetruck!!!!)
the good news:
most of the damage was done on the plastic i kept on my phone until i get a case.
the bad news:
pretty little white dent in the top left corner that i colored with sharpie. classy.
new phone!!!!! welll iphone.... so new ipod and celluar phone and wireless device!!!!
and they took so long they gave us $100 to spend towards cases!! wooohooo
the bad news:
dropped my phone on concrete 3 hours before i buy my free case. made me yell a word that starts with a f and ends with uck (firetruck!!!!)
the good news:
most of the damage was done on the plastic i kept on my phone until i get a case.
the bad news:
pretty little white dent in the top left corner that i colored with sharpie. classy.
Saturday, July 17
Friday, July 16
last night
for some reason, if i sleep after swim practice i ALWAYS remember my dreams. anyways, my adventures last night:
i was in this vintage store (pretty sure it was Front) on main street and bought this turquoise bike for REALLY cheap.
I started riding it around in New York city and ended up riding it into this HUGE room. It was pretty much Grand Central Station, except for way more windows, nothing in the middle/on the floor, and no ticket booths or anything that were telling when the trains were coming etc. And oh my, the PEOPLE. there were SO MANY people and i'm pretty sure i knew all of them.
so i'm biking down a random road, and all of a sudden it gets really steep. it flashes back to grand central room again and i'm biking down, dodging people, but the floor is really steep as well. i fall off my bike, walk down this weird hallway, and end up in this mall.
(weird part is i've NEVER been to a mall like this in my life, but i've dreamt about going there numerous times. the parking lot is on the second level, it's long and skinny, and there's a victoria's secret store and a kohl's on the most east tip of it. it's kinda like ala moana mall in HI if you've ever been there, but not quite....... weird tho cus i started dreaming about this place before i visited that mall.
ANYWAY....... so i go to the mall and smell perfumes in this store, then i continue down these hallways and go on this ride. it starts off as a subway, but turns into a zipper-like ride. i rode it with my friend sylvia and my friend carla and her sister(? even though she doesn't have a sister) were sitting in front of us.
As soon as the ride stops, all hell breaks loose. i run to the top of the noticeably less steep than before Grand central room and see many people i knew mysteriously died. i chase this woman who i refer to in my dream as my mom/aunt or something back to the subway ride, but i get trapped inside and have trouble getting out.
So THEN i get back to the grand central room AGAIN and all these soldiers with machine guns come barelling in and i get shot to death.
its weird because when i'm dying i can feel the pain but all i can really feel is pins and needles and my body parts falling asleep. SO then i float up to 'heaven' which ends up being the upper half of the room - and see all these floating people too. and we're literally just like, hovering in the air. i remember being slightly transparent haha!
weirdly my dreams usually end with my death. this one kept going.
i remember seeing lots of people in heaven but most distinctly my cousin stefanie who in the dream died in a car crash when she was 18 (tho she's still alive and well at 21 now).
all the people in heaven told me i had to say the final goodbye to my human body by putting it away - so i had to pick it up and put it in this coffin/idk?! that was sparkly and light purple and was pretty much just a giant pencil case.
SO then, i meet this random blond guy and we start dancing for some reason? and then he started dancing with this other girl as well who was really nice and i was really jealous. he then said we could share him and for some reason i was okay with that. HAHAHA
SO then in my dream world there is this element thing where people become ghosts or whatever so they can appear to people still living. there are still alive humans in the grand central room, and they cannot see us until our bodies materialize into the human world. so i was talking to my auntie kristie and one of the moms of someone on my swim team and we were able to have a full conversation but i asked them what of me they could see and they said only my neck. (?)
SO THEN melissa l. was still alive so me and my friends in ghost form wanted to send her a sign or something? and we started talking to her and she wanted to take a picture of us but we couldn't.
julian (who was dead) managed to capture a photo of me and melissa l. but i did not show up in said picture.
and then my mom called and woke me up.
sorry for unloading this on here, it's just that i do not remember the last time i was able to recall a dream i had so vividly.....and to be honest i was wildly entertained.
i was in this vintage store (pretty sure it was Front) on main street and bought this turquoise bike for REALLY cheap.
I started riding it around in New York city and ended up riding it into this HUGE room. It was pretty much Grand Central Station, except for way more windows, nothing in the middle/on the floor, and no ticket booths or anything that were telling when the trains were coming etc. And oh my, the PEOPLE. there were SO MANY people and i'm pretty sure i knew all of them.
so i'm biking down a random road, and all of a sudden it gets really steep. it flashes back to grand central room again and i'm biking down, dodging people, but the floor is really steep as well. i fall off my bike, walk down this weird hallway, and end up in this mall.
(weird part is i've NEVER been to a mall like this in my life, but i've dreamt about going there numerous times. the parking lot is on the second level, it's long and skinny, and there's a victoria's secret store and a kohl's on the most east tip of it. it's kinda like ala moana mall in HI if you've ever been there, but not quite....... weird tho cus i started dreaming about this place before i visited that mall.
ANYWAY....... so i go to the mall and smell perfumes in this store, then i continue down these hallways and go on this ride. it starts off as a subway, but turns into a zipper-like ride. i rode it with my friend sylvia and my friend carla and her sister(? even though she doesn't have a sister) were sitting in front of us.
As soon as the ride stops, all hell breaks loose. i run to the top of the noticeably less steep than before Grand central room and see many people i knew mysteriously died. i chase this woman who i refer to in my dream as my mom/aunt or something back to the subway ride, but i get trapped inside and have trouble getting out.
So THEN i get back to the grand central room AGAIN and all these soldiers with machine guns come barelling in and i get shot to death.
its weird because when i'm dying i can feel the pain but all i can really feel is pins and needles and my body parts falling asleep. SO then i float up to 'heaven' which ends up being the upper half of the room - and see all these floating people too. and we're literally just like, hovering in the air. i remember being slightly transparent haha!
weirdly my dreams usually end with my death. this one kept going.
i remember seeing lots of people in heaven but most distinctly my cousin stefanie who in the dream died in a car crash when she was 18 (tho she's still alive and well at 21 now).
all the people in heaven told me i had to say the final goodbye to my human body by putting it away - so i had to pick it up and put it in this coffin/idk?! that was sparkly and light purple and was pretty much just a giant pencil case.
SO then, i meet this random blond guy and we start dancing for some reason? and then he started dancing with this other girl as well who was really nice and i was really jealous. he then said we could share him and for some reason i was okay with that. HAHAHA
SO then in my dream world there is this element thing where people become ghosts or whatever so they can appear to people still living. there are still alive humans in the grand central room, and they cannot see us until our bodies materialize into the human world. so i was talking to my auntie kristie and one of the moms of someone on my swim team and we were able to have a full conversation but i asked them what of me they could see and they said only my neck. (?)
SO THEN melissa l. was still alive so me and my friends in ghost form wanted to send her a sign or something? and we started talking to her and she wanted to take a picture of us but we couldn't.
julian (who was dead) managed to capture a photo of me and melissa l. but i did not show up in said picture.
and then my mom called and woke me up.
sorry for unloading this on here, it's just that i do not remember the last time i was able to recall a dream i had so vividly.....and to be honest i was wildly entertained.
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