Sunday, October 31
Wednesday, October 27
Monday, October 25
Friday, October 22
another metaphor to life.
i've come to terms with the fact that life is a giant puzzle. you're probably like....... yea stupid, obviously. its not like its one of those paint by numbers where all ya need is a the right paint to make a beautiful (numbered picture). it's not like one of those 3d puzzles..... you know rubix cubes and the like. the kind of puzzle i'm talking about here is 2d, where every piece has a place.
I think everyone's life is a puzzle. I mean, at the end of the day, some people's pieces may be smaller than others, and of course, each picture will be different, some more beautiful then others. But of course, everyone has a common goal - to complete it a-sap.
there's your core corner pieces - you know, the easiest ones to put together, the ones that obviously fit together. this is your life foundation. the bonds between the pieces may be weak at times, but they strengthen and weaken at their own pace. It's pretty hard to complete the rest of the puzzle without the outside border.
then there's your inside pieces - pretty much representing every other aspect of your life.
there's the pieces you're SO DAMN sure are a crucial part of the puzzle that end up being tricks; that don't even belong in the puzzle at all. some people spend their whole life trying to make these pieces fit, but they never fully will.
Then there's the pieces that you put in the puzzle and fit perfectly, and then your cat eats them or they get stuck to something, never to be found again. These are the saddest puzzle pieces because most often then not, these kinds of pieces can never be replaced...
there's the pieces that you put in thinking they're in the right spot, but really are not. you think that putting them a certain way will make a picture of a flower field, but one day, or over time, you realize that the picture your puzzle is trying to make isn't of a flower field of all, but actually a space ship. So they need to be rearranged.
there's the pieces that you KNOW need to be there, but can't seem to find anywhere. When you finally find it, you're so happy. everyone is looking for this piece.
puzzle pieces come and go, get rearranged, and change the bigger picture often in ways we can't imagine. though we've got to be careful to hold on to the puzzle pieces that are a great fit and contribute to making the puzzle whole, we've also got to remember that we can't stress over the pieces we haven't found yet.
we've got to simply keep searching - these missing pieces could be anywhere. under the couch, in the bathtub, still in the box, or accidentally in someone else's puzzle, just waiting for you to even be aware of its existence. all you can really do is keep searching, wish, and hope.
I think everyone's life is a puzzle. I mean, at the end of the day, some people's pieces may be smaller than others, and of course, each picture will be different, some more beautiful then others. But of course, everyone has a common goal - to complete it a-sap.
there's your core corner pieces - you know, the easiest ones to put together, the ones that obviously fit together. this is your life foundation. the bonds between the pieces may be weak at times, but they strengthen and weaken at their own pace. It's pretty hard to complete the rest of the puzzle without the outside border.
then there's your inside pieces - pretty much representing every other aspect of your life.
there's the pieces you're SO DAMN sure are a crucial part of the puzzle that end up being tricks; that don't even belong in the puzzle at all. some people spend their whole life trying to make these pieces fit, but they never fully will.
Then there's the pieces that you put in the puzzle and fit perfectly, and then your cat eats them or they get stuck to something, never to be found again. These are the saddest puzzle pieces because most often then not, these kinds of pieces can never be replaced...
there's the pieces that you put in thinking they're in the right spot, but really are not. you think that putting them a certain way will make a picture of a flower field, but one day, or over time, you realize that the picture your puzzle is trying to make isn't of a flower field of all, but actually a space ship. So they need to be rearranged.
there's the pieces that you KNOW need to be there, but can't seem to find anywhere. When you finally find it, you're so happy. everyone is looking for this piece.
puzzle pieces come and go, get rearranged, and change the bigger picture often in ways we can't imagine. though we've got to be careful to hold on to the puzzle pieces that are a great fit and contribute to making the puzzle whole, we've also got to remember that we can't stress over the pieces we haven't found yet.
we've got to simply keep searching - these missing pieces could be anywhere. under the couch, in the bathtub, still in the box, or accidentally in someone else's puzzle, just waiting for you to even be aware of its existence. all you can really do is keep searching, wish, and hope.
Monday, October 18
life is either a daring adventure or nothing
"do one thing a day that scares you" haaay its paying off
Wednesday, October 13
the future awaits
lately i've just been having the don't give a damn attitude. it's kinda freeing to know that after june 2011, i'm on my own. making choices for myself. don't really know what to expect just yet, but i DO know that from then on, i'll control my own destiny.
the possibilities are endless. me and jess had an interesting conversation about schools today...... so far i'm forsure applying to queens, mcgill & st. fx.... possibly u of t and dalhousie.
and to be quite honest, though sometimes the last thing i want to do is leave, and some things i never want to leave, 90% of the time i cannot wait to get out of here.
the possibilities are endless. me and jess had an interesting conversation about schools today...... so far i'm forsure applying to queens, mcgill & st. fx.... possibly u of t and dalhousie.
and to be quite honest, though sometimes the last thing i want to do is leave, and some things i never want to leave, 90% of the time i cannot wait to get out of here.
Tuesday, October 12
Saturday, October 9
Tuesday, October 5
like a ghost.
seems like the last few weeks of school i've been there but not really there. i'm there physically, taking notes, learning, contributing in class, laughing, smiling, bitching, whining, etc., but i'm not there mentally.
when i remember things that happened at school, especially in class, these days, i remember it as if it were a dream. like i get the jist, and the important points, but the details are lost on me.
seems like i'm kind of floating through grade 12 so far. routine's in -
school school school school home homework homework homework sleep school school school school.
notice the school:homework:sleep ratio.
when i remember things that happened at school, especially in class, these days, i remember it as if it were a dream. like i get the jist, and the important points, but the details are lost on me.
seems like i'm kind of floating through grade 12 so far. routine's in -
school school school school home homework homework homework sleep school school school school.
notice the school:homework:sleep ratio.
Sunday, October 3
quotable
"they say that disney world is the happiest place on earth..... they've obviously never been in your arms...."
sometimes i have to pinch myself to make sure i'm not dreaming.
sometimes i have to pinch myself to make sure i'm not dreaming.
Friday, October 1
Wednesday, September 29
reminder of the day #4
be thankful for your past, because it has made your present.
had a talk with a friend today and our conversation suddenly brought me back to tenth grade memories. i won't expand on the topic much because i really don't want to get into it and it really wasn't that interesting, but to sum it up i fell and couldn't get up for a long time.
what really matters is this; i let one thing, and one person, control my happiness. I let my misery overcome me, until i was a self-loathing, self-pitying person. I was fine on the outside, but i was dying on the inside. at the time, it seemed like the end of the world...
funny thing is i can now look back at this and l o l. of course a part of me wants to travel back in time to 15-year-old me and scream my lungs out at her.
i would tell her to man up and deal with it. i'd tell her that she's beautiful, cause that's all she needed to hear. i'd tell her guys come and go, and she shouldn't let one's stupid choices influence her mood and happiness.
but until a mystical time travel machine is invented, i cannot do that.
and even if one is magically created in this lifetime, i don't think that i'd go back.
cause after my misery and pain and woe-is-me attitude FINALLY passed, i learned. and and i grew. i'll never make the same kind of mistakes and misjudgments again, all cause of the more than slightly-clueless 15 year old verson of myself.
it made me who i am. it made me realize what i want. it made me work, harder then i ever have before. and now its like, dang. lol. realize how perfect everything actually is and tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.
had a talk with a friend today and our conversation suddenly brought me back to tenth grade memories. i won't expand on the topic much because i really don't want to get into it and it really wasn't that interesting, but to sum it up i fell and couldn't get up for a long time.
what really matters is this; i let one thing, and one person, control my happiness. I let my misery overcome me, until i was a self-loathing, self-pitying person. I was fine on the outside, but i was dying on the inside. at the time, it seemed like the end of the world...
funny thing is i can now look back at this and l o l. of course a part of me wants to travel back in time to 15-year-old me and scream my lungs out at her.
i would tell her to man up and deal with it. i'd tell her that she's beautiful, cause that's all she needed to hear. i'd tell her guys come and go, and she shouldn't let one's stupid choices influence her mood and happiness.
but until a mystical time travel machine is invented, i cannot do that.
and even if one is magically created in this lifetime, i don't think that i'd go back.
cause after my misery and pain and woe-is-me attitude FINALLY passed, i learned. and and i grew. i'll never make the same kind of mistakes and misjudgments again, all cause of the more than slightly-clueless 15 year old verson of myself.
it made me who i am. it made me realize what i want. it made me work, harder then i ever have before. and now its like, dang. lol. realize how perfect everything actually is and tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.
hellloo
days are good. sunshine, 22 degrees, cool, crisp fall air. hopes for the future and present ideals. it can't get much better than this.
Thursday, September 23
as we go on we remember
i cried today. not because of sadness..... but nostalgia.
my friend from LFA put up her grad proofs today - you know the drill --- cap, gown, the works. and let me tell you.................... seeing a friend i graduated preschool with in her cap and gown absolutely kills me.
it makes me so excited for the future..... but it also makes me scared.
flash back to the days at preschool. me and sylvia, best friends. we must have gone over to each other's houses every day...... we lived just a few blocks away. she was one of those best friends that i could just have fun with, laugh with, be silly with, and even though i only get to see her a few times a year nowadays, we catch up like no time has gone by.
back in preschool, i couldn't even comprehend what life would be like beyond the sandboxes and tricycles. walking over the literal balance beam from 'preschool' to 'kindergarten' seemed like the biggest deal in the world. i worried about who i would play with the next day, and who my favourite sailor moon character was.
it's hard to believe that at this time next year, i'll be studying to be somebody in the world. i'll have real life loans, real life bills, and facing the real world.
and to be honest, i cant wait for those days. but there's always a small part of me that wishes i was still at the horizon peering into the unknown of grade school.....
my friend from LFA put up her grad proofs today - you know the drill --- cap, gown, the works. and let me tell you.................... seeing a friend i graduated preschool with in her cap and gown absolutely kills me.
it makes me so excited for the future..... but it also makes me scared.
flash back to the days at preschool. me and sylvia, best friends. we must have gone over to each other's houses every day...... we lived just a few blocks away. she was one of those best friends that i could just have fun with, laugh with, be silly with, and even though i only get to see her a few times a year nowadays, we catch up like no time has gone by.
back in preschool, i couldn't even comprehend what life would be like beyond the sandboxes and tricycles. walking over the literal balance beam from 'preschool' to 'kindergarten' seemed like the biggest deal in the world. i worried about who i would play with the next day, and who my favourite sailor moon character was.
it's hard to believe that at this time next year, i'll be studying to be somebody in the world. i'll have real life loans, real life bills, and facing the real world.
and to be honest, i cant wait for those days. but there's always a small part of me that wishes i was still at the horizon peering into the unknown of grade school.....
Sunday, September 12
a complaint free world
so i was at inservice today (seasonal thing where we have to go to work for 4-6 hours but instead of work do team building activities, go over procedures etc.... and get paid for it. i love my job) and we had a presentation on this concept called "A Complaint Free World".
basically this guy wanted the world to be a happier place, so his goal is to reach out to 60 million people (1% of the world's population) and help them try and go 21 days without complaining.
why 21 days? cus thats how long it takes to break a habit.
so what happens is that you get a bracelet. i got mine today. every time you catch yourself complaining (out loud), you switch the bracelet to another hand. that makes you more aware of your words. The idea is that eventually, since you stop verbally complaining, you stop mentally complaining, and your life will become happier, more loving and more enjoyable.
i guess if you stop complaining, you focus on the things you DO have rather than the things you don't and if you accept what you have, you don't really need anything else.
basically this guy wanted the world to be a happier place, so his goal is to reach out to 60 million people (1% of the world's population) and help them try and go 21 days without complaining.
why 21 days? cus thats how long it takes to break a habit.
so what happens is that you get a bracelet. i got mine today. every time you catch yourself complaining (out loud), you switch the bracelet to another hand. that makes you more aware of your words. The idea is that eventually, since you stop verbally complaining, you stop mentally complaining, and your life will become happier, more loving and more enjoyable.
i guess if you stop complaining, you focus on the things you DO have rather than the things you don't and if you accept what you have, you don't really need anything else.
Wednesday, September 1
reminder of the day #3
never take anything for granted.
On my trip to Florida, we ate out almost every night (and consequently I never want to eat restaurant food for a very very long time). One night, we decided to visit this restaurant called Perkins (AMAZING pie and good food).
On our last night, we decided to go back to Perkins. We were seated, and my brother's friend asked if we could have the same server. She was really good - nice, professional, and gave excellent service. Besides that, she had an amazing memory. We had eaten there a few nights earlier and she remembered what my brother's friend had to drink and what my little brother ordered!!!!
After dinner, we were talking with her about how we were travelling. She then started talking to us about her life.
She just had a baby 9 months ago, and it was a miracle baby. It was her 14th pregnancy, and she already took care of her 11 year old nephew full-time (she took custody of him for whatever reason when he was 4). Here she was, working late nights- often til 1 am, baby at home and only got 6 months off with her.
What i learned most from this server was how happy, despite many obstacles in her life, that baby made her. She told us about how all her friends would be bringing around baby pictures and that finally at 35 she was also able to do so. She was showing us proudly and we saw pictures of her nephew and daughter on her cell phone. Here she could be complaning about everything going wrong in her life, but instead she beams about the things that have gone right.
After our conversation, she gave us the bill and told her the pie was on her. We left a big tip as we left. However, we're still in debt, cause the insight she gave me is worth more than anything you can buy.
On my trip to Florida, we ate out almost every night (and consequently I never want to eat restaurant food for a very very long time). One night, we decided to visit this restaurant called Perkins (AMAZING pie and good food).
On our last night, we decided to go back to Perkins. We were seated, and my brother's friend asked if we could have the same server. She was really good - nice, professional, and gave excellent service. Besides that, she had an amazing memory. We had eaten there a few nights earlier and she remembered what my brother's friend had to drink and what my little brother ordered!!!!
After dinner, we were talking with her about how we were travelling. She then started talking to us about her life.
She just had a baby 9 months ago, and it was a miracle baby. It was her 14th pregnancy, and she already took care of her 11 year old nephew full-time (she took custody of him for whatever reason when he was 4). Here she was, working late nights- often til 1 am, baby at home and only got 6 months off with her.
What i learned most from this server was how happy, despite many obstacles in her life, that baby made her. She told us about how all her friends would be bringing around baby pictures and that finally at 35 she was also able to do so. She was showing us proudly and we saw pictures of her nephew and daughter on her cell phone. Here she could be complaning about everything going wrong in her life, but instead she beams about the things that have gone right.
After our conversation, she gave us the bill and told her the pie was on her. We left a big tip as we left. However, we're still in debt, cause the insight she gave me is worth more than anything you can buy.
Friday, August 27
LOL
Some lady starts waving frantically at my mom while were at a stoplight. Panicked, my mom rolls down the window and the lady went all through the kerfuffle to say "WE VE GOT THE SAME CAR"
Saturday, August 21
Haaay haaay from the sunshine state. I love it. Love its beaty, love the weather, love the people. I even love the rain. Florida's amazing because its not indecisive. Its hot alllll day. If the sun shines youre catchin rays every second. And if it rains, it pours. I'm dreading what i have to face back home.
Monday, August 16
reminder of the day #2
Things don't always turn out the way you want them to.
But that doesn't mean that they'll turn out worse than you wanted.
have patience, keep calm, and live freely. listen, and learn. seek harmony in everything, one day at a time.
But that doesn't mean that they'll turn out worse than you wanted.
have patience, keep calm, and live freely. listen, and learn. seek harmony in everything, one day at a time.
reminder of the day #1
grabbed some timmy hos on saturday on the way up to whistler. so all was well and good, ordered a sesame bagel with strawberry cream cheese and in a generally good mood. i went off to the side to wait for my bagel out of courtesy for the people behind me wanting to order in line, and then this obnoxious business guy finishes his order and stands beside me. some food pops up ON THE COUNTER and the guy snatches it and heads out the door.
the cashier lady looks at me and goes "you didn't get yours yet?"
i say no
she says "i guess that guy mustve taken it.... i'll make you another one". what a sweet lady.
two minutes later the guy comes marching in. "YOU GUYS GAVE ME THE WRONG THING!" and snatches the next food item that comes up. luckily the lady spotted him and knew it was mine so she quickly told him.
they forgot the strawberry cream cheese and used plain instead, but the lady already took so much shit from the obnoxious guy that i spared her my moaning and groaning about what turned out to be a pretty decent bagel.
people in this society are too full of pride to take the blame anymore. i mean, how hard would it have been for the guy to return in, a little sheepish, and say, "sorry i was in such a hurry i must have taken the wrong thing by accident". it wouldn't have been a big deal, and everyone would have been understanding.
instead, he decided to turn it all around and blame the poor 8 dollar an hour worker for his impatience and stupidity.
with maturity comes great responsibility. honor it............ for the sake of this earth. please.
taking responsibility is kinda like getting a pimple. you can choose to blame it on your diet, your facewash, the fight you had with your boyfriend, let it ruin your day and limit your confidence, and then try to cover it up with a pound of makeup and end up making it look worse than it did in the first place.
or you can acknowledge it, give it a little tender loving care, invest in some good concealer (clinique wins here hands down. just sayin) and respect yourself and others in the process- its your choice.
anyways that was my reminder of the day - take responsibility. cus i know i'd respect someone more for owning up then covering up anyday.
the cashier lady looks at me and goes "you didn't get yours yet?"
i say no
she says "i guess that guy mustve taken it.... i'll make you another one". what a sweet lady.
two minutes later the guy comes marching in. "YOU GUYS GAVE ME THE WRONG THING!" and snatches the next food item that comes up. luckily the lady spotted him and knew it was mine so she quickly told him.
they forgot the strawberry cream cheese and used plain instead, but the lady already took so much shit from the obnoxious guy that i spared her my moaning and groaning about what turned out to be a pretty decent bagel.
people in this society are too full of pride to take the blame anymore. i mean, how hard would it have been for the guy to return in, a little sheepish, and say, "sorry i was in such a hurry i must have taken the wrong thing by accident". it wouldn't have been a big deal, and everyone would have been understanding.
instead, he decided to turn it all around and blame the poor 8 dollar an hour worker for his impatience and stupidity.
with maturity comes great responsibility. honor it............ for the sake of this earth. please.
taking responsibility is kinda like getting a pimple. you can choose to blame it on your diet, your facewash, the fight you had with your boyfriend, let it ruin your day and limit your confidence, and then try to cover it up with a pound of makeup and end up making it look worse than it did in the first place.
or you can acknowledge it, give it a little tender loving care, invest in some good concealer (clinique wins here hands down. just sayin) and respect yourself and others in the process- its your choice.
anyways that was my reminder of the day - take responsibility. cus i know i'd respect someone more for owning up then covering up anyday.
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