i find myself packing for my last pc camp. and weirdly nostalgic.


i guess its kind of late for me to realize that these next 2 months will be a last of a lot of things. last pc camp, last parliament meetings, last 2 bio tests.... last day 1's, last day 2's, last days as a celtic.
as my university decision looms in the very near future, i am both excited, sad, and scared for my life. my whole life, my parents would always say, "When you're in university" or "save that money for university" and it's so hard to believe that i'm almost there. hard to believe i'm 18 years old.......... i have the same amount of energy (actually probably more) than when i walked into this school 5 years ago.


shit

the final stretch

summer is such a tease

so close i can taste it.

inspired.

can't help but keep thinking about my adventures in mexico. yadda yadda its already over etc etc..... but at the end of the day, does it really matter? these people are still there. i'm still here. these people are so happy, so gracious, and then you come here and its a totally different world.
i was talking to a university the other day, and they were asking me questions re:a scholarship. when they asked me if there was anything else i wanted to say, and i realized i wanted to tell them about my adventure. about the people i met, the places i've been do, and my immense desire to help. make a difference.

but yeah. oh my gosh.... if this astronaut thing doesn't work out, i'm going to be doing something where i can help people and make them happy. and that, is that.

mmhmmm

first to admit i was weary about going on this trip, but sosososososo happy i went. honestly, one of the best trips i've ever been on, never have i laughed so hard. Though Mexico is nothing new to me the people and places never seem to amaze me. The work we did there meant more to me than laying on a beach or by a pool, and the things i learned are priceless.
Number one? be happy. We see so many people with literally nothing.... we stepped into their homes that had no doors and housed probably about 20 people, and yet they're so quick to offer us a place in their house if we wanted to stay for a couple days. They remain so gracious to be alive, making me even more thankful to be alive. God is love.

interesting

i've taken a new liking to internet shopping. haven't bought anything yet.... but i like to look at pictures of things are pretend what my life would be like if i owned them. my internet shopping has just gotten LOADS easier because i am learning to take advantage of the parcel service in the states (about 15 mins from my house) that will save me shitloads of $$$ in the long run, on shipping and paying canadian $ haha!

i've already got a pretty swim suit for my summers outside doing laps + teaching lessons lined up, and some acessories will soon be in order.

oh geez. here we go.

10

i sit here tired, worn out, lost of inspiration. they're working us youngins too hard. i sit here and wonder if university is going to get harder than this. my god! i hope not. but then again, i guess that we can't stop anything we can't handle right?

so i'm embarking on a mexican adventure next week and i'm pretty stoked to see what goes down. though there is a spiritual aspect to it i'm more excited to go garden and play with little mexican children!! and hopefully get a tan haha! oh gee.

but yeah i've been SUPER cranky lately and i've gotta work on it. also, i really want to go shopping.... tsktsktsk erika you should be saving that money for university.


wow this is the longest blog i posted in a LONG time. sad lyfe

time to go bust my ass at the gym, later days

7

A Daughter is telling her mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing math, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away. Meanwhile, her mother was making a cake and asked her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutley mom, I love your cakes!"

"Here, have some cooking oil," her mother offers. "Yuck!!" says her daughter.

"How about a couple raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!"

"How about some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Mom, those are all yucky!"

To which the mother replies, "Yes, those things may seem bad all by themselves, but when they are all put together in the right way, they make something wonderful!"

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when he puts these things all in his order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him, and eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring, and a sunrise every morning.

Whenever you want to talk, He will listen. He could have lived anywhere in the world, but he chose your heart.

6

i guess you could say i have writers' block.

back when i have inspiration.

xxxiv

late post but whatever. best experience of my life.............for reals.

23

so sick of my life.

18

sometimes i just want to pack up and leave all of this behind. i want to journey to egypt or london or paris or madrid, anywhere that can offer me a difference out of the routine. though i follow my mom's rule of travel (always try somewhere new) i would not mind revisiting chicago or florida or nyc. 2 summers ago, my mom and i ventured to new york city and i can say with all sincerity that it was the best trip of my life (with florida coming in at a close second). i especially loved central park and the museums - the museum of natural history and MOMA were my favourites. i loved the small cafe we went to in harlem, heck i even loved the church service my mom made me go to (so inspiring..... people so passionate about their faith. opening hymn was like 20 min long.... i wish i grew up in that). new york was just a city full of opportunity, a city of lights, of sounds, of smells...... and i wish i was part of it.

i've been thinking a lot about material things lately and i have decided that they no longer satisfy me. when i get back from school next year (yes i've decided on queen's unless some other wild opportunity comes up) i'm going to save all my money to 1)pay off my inevitably immense student loan and 2)travel the world. vancouver's amazing, but i need to experience the world before i can truly appreciate my home.

14

happy valentines day! i have the most sweeetest boyfriend ever that spoils me to bits................... making my first real valentines day sosososo special. surprised me with black shatter AND katy perry collection yesterday.... and so many wonderful treats today. glad he enjoyed my baking!!!!!

then came home to my belated bday present from my cousin!! soo00ooo bomb.

happy girl. :):):)

now to clean ma room

finally something to blog about

on my way to kickboxing, i had to drop off dinner for schmucks at the blockbuster. nevermind that it was 2 days overdue.... i was hurrying to kickboxing class. i tore into a parking spot and killed the engine but left my car in drive. as i went to the quik drop, i hear a car horn honking.
I turn around to see my car, door open, driving away BY ITSELF!!! i had to run to race and jump in and thankfully i stepped on the brakes.

Why does my mom ever let me use her car, again?

7

i'm a weird girl. some things just don't phase me.... often the big things. strange how i can control myself sometimes when i see the important stuff slipping out of my grip, yet have a spaz when i lose my gym pass or wake up 10 minutes late and almost miss my bus. how does that work?

i guess my goal for the week is to control myself. control my complaining, control my anger, control my lashing out, control my tiredness. control my hunger, control my work ethic... heck why am i even writing in this blog now? i should be applying for a scholarship or doing my lit or doing my grad trans or taking a bath or sleeping.

but then i step back and see lifes pretty good.... works good schools good (mostly) friends good boyfriends good. so why am i even complaining?

and then it begins.


friend gave me a journal for my birthday. going to start writing. i need to get these emotions out in a place where i can feel it and see it. I'm going to write in it and not read it until the journal is full.

until next time.

5.

as of late........ exhaustion. Never worked so hard in my life, the last week has been HELL. Honestly when I join the real workforce in 6-8 years or w.e I don't know what I'm going to do on the weekends...... or any day after work for that matter haha!
Today, I woke up at 7, gym, work, home, nap, work. just starting homework now. I'm confident that I'm going to die. Kill me now, please.

2.

i guess blogging will hav to wait/

1

lost my will to blog. too tired. to much homework. sorry writing corner of my brain, you're on hiatus for now.

18

eighteen years old and never felt so loved in my life. my friends are the best. thank you for the wonderful suprise and presents, they really mean a lot. oh and i love my boyfriend and bestfriend for thinking up the whole crazy plan. soooo good ♥ a million thankyous!